The above was provided by http://www.carols.org.uk/the_twelve_days_of_christmas.htm

We started looking at the lyrics to this song and determined that the amount of real estate needed for all of this activity to occur had to be far more than what was available in my apartment.

Take a look:

Each time the verse is sung that many things happen.  For instance, in the first verse we were not too surprised to receive a partridge in a pear tree.  We thought that was quite loveable even though that meant we would be required to feed the partridge and water the pear tree.

We didn’t look at the concept of having a pear tree in our apartment for as long as one of those might live, but we figured, oh well, we’ll just plant it out front.  The bird was another matter.  We needed to get it a cage, some food, and keep it clean.

And then came the second day:

We got another partridge in a pear tree and 2 turtle doves.  Now we have two partridges, two turtle doves, two pear trees, two cages (we put the partridges in the one cage and the doves together in their own), more feed, and then after planting this new pear tree, went and bought a hose so that we could water them.

Now along comes day three:

We get 3 french hens, two more turtle doves and another partridge in its own pear tree.  Now this is starting to get serious, we have the beginnings of a bird farm in our apartment.  Just imagine the noise that these birds are making.  The neighbors are starting to question the pear trees, but think that we have taken to raising pears for our complex.

Oh my God, along comes day 4:

Did you know that 4 calling birds can make more noise than the 6 french hens, 6 turtle doves and 4 partridges put together.  Our neighbors are now complaining about the noise.  We’re a bit concerned about the cleaning of the cages and what to do with that mess.

But we have 4 beautiful pear trees; we might have the start of an orchard.

Day 5:

We get 5 Golden rings.  What a relief, but we also got 4 more calling birds (now 8), 3 french hens (now 9 of these), 2 turtle doves (making it), and one more partridge and a pear tree (making 5 each of these).

The birds are crowding the apartment.  The landlord says if we are going to keep planting pear trees they are going to need to raise the rent to cover the maintenance.

Day 6 has arrived:

More birds – Geese yet, these are big birds and there are 6 of them and they are all laying eggs.  We don’t know if it’s alright to eat the eggs or do we need to wait for them to hatch.

We’ve also added to the other birds and trees and the neighbors have complained to the landlord about them.

Now that the landlord knows about the birds, we are required to put up a deposit for each of them.  That’s a total of 6 geese, 12 calling birds, 12 french hens, 10 turtle doves, and six partridges.

We went looking for a small home with maybe an acre of land that can handle our 6 pear trees along with all those birds.

Day 7:

Oh dear, we have 7 swans a swimming and don’t have any place for them to actually swim, so we called the local swimming pool people to put in a pool.

We added to the detached garage to make room for our now 7 partridges, 12 turtle doves, 15 french hens, 16 calling birds, 12 geese, and 7 swans.  The 12 geese are producing enough eggs for us to sell them to help pay for the maintenance and if it weren’t for the 15 golden rings we couldn’t keep up the house payments.

Oh dear, day 8:

Eight maids milking cows.  Well, the good thing is that we can sell the milk, but we are now required to move again because the housing project where currently live doesn’t allow the cows.  And, the birds are making more noise than the neighbors are willing to put up with.  Thank God for the 25 golden rings because we need to have a barn and an extra building for the maids.

Day 9:

We now have 9 ladies dancing.  It is good that we got this bigger farm since we also needed to expand the building where there are now 16 maids and 9 ladies.  It looks like a barracks.  And, the 16 cows have filled up the barn.

Day 10:

My goodness gracious, we have 10 lords leaping over fences like jumpers at a horse show.  Needed another building to house these guys plus expanding the barracks for the maids(24) and ladies(18).

The birds need their own building now since we have 10 partridges, 18 turtle doves, 24 french hens, 28 calling birds, 30 geese all laying eggs, and 28 swans swimming in the back pond.  This doesn’t count the new geese that have hatched from the first batch of geese.

Day 11:

You are not going to believe this – we have 11 pipers piping.  What a racket with all those birds getting riled up and we had to expand the men’s building and the women’s barracks again, too.

Day 12:

Drummers.  Can you believe this?

12 drummers (half men and half women)

22 pipers (half men and half women)

30 lords – all of them cavorting about jumping fences and over ponds

36 ladies dancing along with those silly lords.

40 maids along with 40 cows

42 swans swimming in both ponds

36 calling birds

30 french hens

22 doves

12 partridges

12 pear trees

Bushels of pears, gallons of milk, tons of eggs, lots of fertilizer, 2 huge barracks, and two barns, along with several acres for the cows.

I don’t know if the 40 golden rings is going to be enough to keep all of this, so I put the property along with all of the habitats up for sale really cheap.

• I ran Microwave Defrost, but it didn’t help
• I have Microscope Exploiter
• I have Microsoft Exploder
• I’m having trouble with Internet Exposer

These are a few to get you started.  Add your own.

And I quote: “When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.”

What an image.  I wonder how many there were?  Sure does put a different perspective on the way things can work out, doesn’t it.

Screamers, they’ll be the death of me yet.

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I like kid stories too.

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in a convertable ahead of us stood up and waved.

She was stark naked!

As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mom, that lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!’

What an image.

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This information can be used by anyone that feels that they need it.  I got it from someone else who also gave me permission to use the material.  So can you.

Come back and see what other little tidbits I have conjured up just for your amusement.

I just read a really terrible story (well the story itself was not terrible, the subject was terrible) about some lady being caught trying to import iguana meat into the US of A.  This is a big No-No according to the U.S. Customs department.

Not only did she try to import this questionable meat, she didn’t have a license.  Imagine that!  Do you think that the license in question was to import an endangered species’ meat or to import anything?

Maybe the license in question was like our fishing license or hunting license.  Maybe it is a way to help finance another of our many governmental agencies.

Whatever!

Read the article and decide for yourself.

I, for one, feel that there are not enough Iguana’s in the world to take care of our ravenous appetites for meat, so perhaps we should eat beef, or chicken, or whatever, but not Iguanas.

And, they are really little, so it takes a whole bunch of them to make a meal.  You can take one cow and feed a whole bunch of us.

And, when we have people over, we get two chickens, but normally one can feed us a couple of times (and more if we make sandwiches).

Both the cow and the chicken are part of our food chain; we grow them to supply us with the needed nourishment.  And, I’m sure there are licenses required all over the place for those activities.

So, what I seem to be saying is quite killing off these little guys.  They are needed elsewhere in the food chain, we don’t need to help.

And, about those licenses?????

I forgot all about the fact that I said I would be downloading more pictures.  So, here’s one that has a number of my items.

TAZ with an attitude

This beautiful portrait has a prominent position in my office ( a corner wall by the door ).

You might make out some other TAZ items hanging from the pole lamp.  We’ll be showing them over the course of this series of posts.

Ya’ll come back now, ya hear?  (Note: that’s Texas talk.)

Latch Hook TAZ

This is the first Latch Hook project that I undertook.  The beauty took me nearly 6 months to complete working nights and weekends.  I started out by taking a photo of my project as I completed each row of thread, but I kept missing my spot for the tripod and it was seriously jerky, so I abandoned that plan.

Of course, as I worked longer on the project, my skills got better, but my fingers still hurt after a session.  Then I’d slow down for a while and work on a different project.

Since this was my first latch hook project, it took me a while to get the hang of it.  It is not difficult, it is really quite boring since you repeat the steps exactly every time.  But occasionally you change colors of threads.

Oh, I even broke one of the needles, which is quite a feat.  It broke right at the front edge of the big hole thingy.

It is now mounted in a prominent spot on the door to the storage room under the stairwell.

TAZ on display

I hope you enjoy my TAZ guy.  Look forward to some of the other apparel that I have in my collection in later posts.

…..Bruce

Today, I would like to discuss my airfreshener.   When I originally got it, we put it in the car.

Well, after awhile, it didn’t offer any refreshing odors, so it is now attached to my desk.

Like most of my TAZ collection, it is just there.

In upcoming issues of my blog, you will see more of my TAZ collection including the latch hook project that took me several months to complete.  Look for it.

I’ve got a collection of TAZ things including my coffee/tea cup.  It is your traditional cup with TAZ’s picture on the side.

I’ve had this cup for well over 5 years so there are some permanent stains on the inside.  There are no chips, however, which makes me very pleased.

My TAZ coffe cup

As you can see my TAZ coffee cup is special.

In future posts, I’ll discuss other TAZ items in my collection including my Latchhook project which took several months to complete.